Existing as a protoss

Updated 3/24/25

For all intents and purposes, I’m on my own. If there are other protoss, I can’t find them. I have no idea if my experiences vary or if they’re similar to theirs. The main reason I was inspired to write this essay, was not just to bring my experiences out there, but to help anyone questioning whether or not they are a protoss. Despite the difficulties it brings me in this life and without sounding too emotional, I find the experience itself to be a gift. The secondary reason is putting this out there for anyone curious enough to read it. I expect most readers of this essay will have no prior understanding as to what a protoss is, or a minimal understanding of one, so I will try to elaborate when it's needed. As of posting this essay onto my dreamwidth, this is the only alterhuman essay on what it's like to be one on the internet.

To start, protoss are an alien species from a video game called Starcraft. It would fall under a fictionkin identity, but I personally don’t like to refer to myself as one. To me, the game is more like a piece of media based on true events, where some of the events may have been exaggerated to make it more cinematic. Excluding cosmic horror, (which also feels real to me when I read it, and contains aspects of it within Starcraft), this connection is much different than any of my other relations to different pieces of fiction. It also impacts the way I interact with the game. Although I don't feel particularly euphoric and happy when I play as a protoss, I can get a bit dysphoric when I'm commanding another species' forces. And there are some campaign missions I find myself unable to do without getting enraged or upset.

It still definitely falls under the otherkin umbrella. Since 2017, I believe to be a non canon Nerazim protoss, and live as one in my past life, and that life significantly impacts my current one, to the point where it feels like a continuation of that life. The Nerazim are a faction of protoss that were exiled for not wanting to be part of an empathetic telepathic link.I will touch upon this later on in the essay. In essence, I feel as if I'm an amnesiac protoss. I started this life thinking I was human, ignoring my faint impressions and dreams until I learned where it originated from. And I am still trying to remember.

Due to the length of the essay, I have organized the essay into these different sections: 'On How it 'Started',' 'On Culture,' 'On Connection', 'On Language,' 'On Mental Shifts','On Habits, 'On Phantom Shifts,' & 'On Memories.'

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