Wild, miscellaneous noemata

[sya]

Edited 6/9/25
This is a list of a few strange experiences that I find noteworthy enough to mention. It will be listed as bullet points below. Some of these notes were originally written in 'Existing as a Protoss' essay, but have decided it was best to have it as its own entry.

-  My mind seems to compare moving houses to moving planets when I was around this age. It seems to consider my old childhood family home as being Shakuras. I still have a very memorable dream of being given something important by a family member before never seeing them again, and having to leave by force. Moving to another home, I felt a sense of jet lag and liminality when I was old enough to make sense of it. I recall looking outside the window across my old room and being reminded of being on some nonhuman world. When I now look at the concept artwork of Aiur, I am reminded of waking up during those early mornings, making me believe that I've seen it again in my dreams back then as well, in my early childhood. I think that again, my mind was trying to pull comparisons to what it vaguely knew about, which it now knows about.

-  At the age of 20, I had another dream that took place in my childhood home. It was based on Warcraft since I've played it for years. And still a decade later, I can remember decent parts of this dream. Funnily enough, it was a Warcraft dream with Sylvanas, an undead leader leading a large army that was able to see through our hiding spots and searched for us. Now I know that she and her army thematically parallels what our enemies had done, Kerrigan and the zerg swarm, both being queens of their respective race. By the end of the dream, we had to escape through a portal to Nagrand, a location in Warcraft. And for some reason in my mind, Nagrand reminds me of Aiur (though, the draenei did crash land over there). Although we didn't escape to Aiur until years later, my mind didn't make that distinction in the dream. Sylvanas lied at the end of the dream, saying that she has changed, and has given us gifts. She warned that one of the gifts was poisonous. And still, people trusted her, much to my shock. Then the dream ended. In my source, Kerrigan did the same thing and ended up mind controlling a leader, despite similar warnings. Remembering this dream and then playing through the Starcraft campaign, I realize how eerily similar it was to events that took place. It gives me a look into how my subconscious symbolically represented these events into a story and context it understood at the time.

-I wrote a fic inspired by the dream. But looking at the date I wrote it, I see that it was about a month after a friend introduced me to Starcraft's lore, but I don't believe I got that far into the video to have learned of this betrayal. I also didn't quite recognize protoss as being me at first, because of the way they were sometimes drawn or modeled. It has taken me time to determine why I felt something was off, but I believe it was because their skin sometimes looks too smooth, to stiff and clay like. When it should be more expressive. I wonder where the pores on their face are. Now, I get an uncanny valley sort of feeling when I think about it too hard. But as I mentioned, I didn't focus or think about it much at the time. I wonder if this introduction to the lore might have sparked some forgotten memory using things I'm more familiar with as reference. (To those who have some familiarity with Starcraft, these events took place in the Brood War. I don't recall watching videos past the invasion of Aiur, which was pre- Brood War era. I only know this because I faintly recalled wanting to see the dark templar on Shakuras but never getting to the next video to see that for one reason or another). Chilling.

- So. The first image is some sort of thing I drew for school, a few years before I got into SC and knew anything like this existed. I don't remember drawing this or what it was supposed to be. I believe I was just drawing a random pattern for some random project I was assigned to do. I just found this painting spontaneously one day in November 2024, but I assume to have made it around 2014-2015. Back in November, I took one look at it and told myself, "looks kind of protoss-y" But then I remembered that the nexus structures in Starcraft 1 were also looked pretty similar. So I compared and contrasted them. I also took note of the geometric patterns on the nexus and went, ?????. The similarities really scared me.

-I watched a couple of alien invasion movies, growing up. It was never such a huge interest of mine, but I'd watch and enjoy them when the chance came up. I was scared of the aliens and all of the technology that they used, with some exceptions. As I mentioned on tumblr, "in the 2005 War of the Worlds movie, the alien tripods didn't scare me. There was a strange absence of fear, when I'd normally be terrified. Even back then, I thought they were really cool looking and badass. It felt weird to see an alien movie and not being scared of their technology when I was younger. I've rewatched it now, and the human harvesting that they did inside the machines really does creep me out. But that fear is still removed whenever I see the tripods just walking around and destroying cities and vaporizing people with their laser beams. It was at least a solid decade before I even saw a colossus when I looked into Starcraft's game play and lore. Back in 2005-2006, they didn't exist in the first game at all. But they were released in the second game during 2010. When I saw them, my first thought was, "hey, they look like those tripods. Neat." 

-Having a memory of seeing a green moon, and looking it up on the wiki page for the lols to see if anything would show up. I found the moon immediately. It was an important xenoarchaeological site. Consciously, I thought that world in game was a planet, and forgot that it was a greenish to begin with, because the cut scene that took place did not show the greenness of it. But the loading page artwork did, which I fully missed. This archaeological site directly leads into into the prophecies involving the Big Antagonist and the hybrids, which I will explain next:

I've vaguely mentioned in my Nerazim essay: "The Khala's ultimate goal was to be used as a means to possess the protoss and to bring an end to a universal cycle. I think I've come into this life and unconsciously associated this sort of emotional link to possession and puppetry before even knowing it. I've already had highly specific phobias before certain parts of the lore were even made..." but didn't go into specific detail, and barely wrote about it on my tumblr out of fear of the tag algorithm putting the post in a fandom tag. So I will go into detail below.

- I was watching the movie Independence Day when I was about 12. It was scary, but I didn't lose sleep over it at the time. At least none that I could remember. But at some point in the near future, I managed to give myself a small anxiety attack over a certain clip from the movie. I don't remember what triggered this sense of dread but I remember getting some sort of existential dread in the middle of class. It was the scene between the scientist and the escaped alien,(called harvesters) that they were originally trying to dissect. They thought it was dead but it woke up.Then, the alien began to use the scientist's own body like a puppet and demanding to be released, that there will be no peace between humanity and them, and how it wanted to kill everyone. How diplomatic. 
The other kicker is that these aliens resembled some of the Big Antagonist's hybrids almost exactly. Now, I think it was a mixture of the possession, the feeling of being faced with an uncompromising enemy that wants to commit omnicide, and the appearance of the alien that scared me back then. Some of the words that the Big Antagonist and its hybrids used were very reminiscent of the dialogue that was between the harvester alien and the humans with whom it was talking to in the movie. I couldn't replay this campaign without thinking of this clip. The kicker is that this anxiety attack happened around the year 2008. The scenes where this took place in my source were made in 2015. And I think they took direct inspiration from the harvesters when coming up with concept designs for the hybrid.
Addendum:The production of the first part of Starcraft 2 with the terrans started around the year 2007. But it was in production, not out, and I hadn't heard about the game at that time. There were hybrids in the terran campaign and there was possession involved, but the identity of the Big Antagonist was "hidden", (hidden is in air quotes because you do see its eyes in a cinematic but the owner of the eyes is unknown. When I rewatch it now, it lacks the cutting sense of terror I felt when I saw the real deal.) So I don't know what to make of all of this. 

-This one is very hard to describe but I will do my best to explain it: I was replaying a few missions in 2024. The level is in a hybrid creation facility, and I noticed that their logo was the atom. My mind quickly jumps to the cartoon series, Jimmy Neutron, which I've always associated with the generic symbol of an atom, and then to a dream I had when I was around 6 or 7. Around that time, I had a creepy dream of an airship/blimp crashing past my backyard fence. The airship had a statue of Jimmy Neutron's head on it, and for some weird reason, it irked me badly. It was almost a nightmare without fully being one. I've been wondering what the significance of this dream was for years, and it slowly began to make more sense.

- I had a memory of a docile hybrid, and I still don't fully know what to make of it now and the timing of when/where it was when I saw it. I thought to myself, "why would a hybrid be docile? I don't know if they were all docile post war with the Big Antagonist gone, but I later learn that the facilities have ways of keeping them mentally docile so there. 

-Well, further later into the campaign, the main hybrid facility was attacked by....carriers, (airships) So case closed? And although I wasn't part of the attack itself, I was very close to it when it all went down. I think my 7 year old brain went through all of this to make sense of something my subconscious or unconsciousness knew, but had no way of understanding without pulling from context it already knew from the current life. These symbols played a trend throughout my life, as I mentioned in the first few examples.

-Bonus insane wedding noemata that paralleled events in both lives over in parts 1, 2 and 3.