Acceptance

[sya]

Trying to behave in a human way and having to 'accept' or 'acknowledge' my humanity is pointless. There is nothing for me to accept because there is nothing there. It doesn't exist, and this visible form is very illusionary to begin with from a philosophical stand point. It's always been a mask. If I'm truly going to liberate myself, I need to accept the fact that being told that I'm also a human ends up diminishing the vastness of my experiences, because of all of these abnormalities. Humans do not get these shifts, memories, sensations, etc. To say they do is a lie. And thinking in this way is beneficial to my mental health because it puts less pressure and stress on needing to behave in a normal and typical way. It makes me feel less like a freak and more normal when I look at it all through the context of my species. I need to come to terms with my shifts and my experiences and accept that I have them, not my humanity. And not in a way where I ignore them.

Ignoring them has been very harmful to me in the long run, while acknowledging that I'm not human removes unnecessarily hurdles and barriers.

I know trans analogies that compare species to gender is often used, but I have something different to compare it to; my experiences as a nerazim.(I've been at this for two lifetimes, yay.) The other khalai protoss thought that we didn't want to be protoss and hated ourselves and them. We separated our selves from that religion and cut the nerve cords, which in their brains, was what made you a protoss, which is a very biological essential view. I can understand why they think we hated them. But it was never about hatred for me. Of course, I can't speak about the others, only for myself. But there's a quote from a novel about this exile that surmises my point well: "Nothing in them desires revolution and disharmony. They merely wish to keep themselves to themselves. Is that worthy of death?" 

I want to do things on my own terms, and I've found an effective way of doing so in this current existence I'm in.

Comments

[emeraldflame]

I'm in the same camp as you where acceptance of my kintypes and fictotypes has helped me mentally (: I'm glad things are getting better for you !!

[neve_vr52]

Being wholly and authentically oneself really does have a profoundly positive impact on mental health. It has for me a thousand-fold. Keep living your amazing alienkin life to its fullest!

[sya]

Thanks, I'll keep doing so. I'm not sure what the end goal and full acceptance will look like for me but I'll see. ^^